One Good Think #9: Oprah Winfrey
Boldness and growth over fear
I knew that if I let him talk me into staying, it would affect the way I felt about myself forever. I would always wonder what could have been. That one choice changed the trajectory of my life.
In late 1983, Oprah, age 29, was recruited from a budding local career in Baltimore to takeover the then low-rated talk show, AM Chicago.
Although this would turn out to be the move that made her career, although she would make AM Chicago #1 in the ratings, and eventually have it renamed the Oprah Winfrey Show in 1986, there was no way to know that at the time. As it stood, AM Chicago was a failing show.
Her boss tried to talk her out of it:
“There’s no way you can make it in Chicago. You’re walking into a land mine…You’re committing career suicide. You’re going to fail.”
Oprah knew it was a risk. She knew staying in Baltimore would have been the smart decision. But she also knew it was a decision she couldn’t live with.
She told her boss:
You’re right, I may not make it and I may be walking into land mines. But if they don’t kill me, at least I’ll keep growing.”
Then later reflecting:
Staying in Baltimore would have been the safe thing to do. But…I knew that if I let him talk me into staying, it would affect the way I felt about myself forever. I would always wonder what could have been. That one choice changed the trajectory of my life.
How did she make that decision? How has she thought about it since?
Lady O shares those questions and lessons in her book, What I Know For Sure, and they are the subject of today’s, OGT.
Growth Over Safety; Courage Over Fear
How can I realize my potential more fully? That’s a question I still ask myself, especially when contemplating what’s next in my life.
In every job I’ve taken and every city in which I’ve lived, I have known that it’s time to move on when I’ve grown as much as I can. Sometimes moving on terrified me. But always it taught me that the true meaning of courage is to be afraid, and then, with your knees knocking, to step out anyway.
In an explanation that echoes the famous Goethe quote that “Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it,” Oprah differentiates between boldness and fear:
Making a bold move is the only way to advance toward the grandest vision the universe has for you. If you allow it, fear will completely immobilize you. And once it has you in its grip, it will fight to keep you from ever becoming your best self. What I know for sure is this: Whatever you fear most has no power—it is your fear that has the power. The thing itself cannot touch you. But your fear can rob you of your life. Each time you give in to it, you lose strength, while your fear gains it. That’s why you must decide that no matter how difficult the path ahead seems, you will push past your anxiety and keep on stepping.
She acknowledges the challenge of fear, of course. But she points out that though it’s going to be difficult, it’s the lesser pain:
You can expect obstacles. You’ll fall down. Others may call you nutty. At times it may feel like the whole world is rising up to tell you who you cannot become and what you cannot do…And in moments of weakness, your fear and self-doubt may cause you to falter. You may be so exhausted that you want to quit.
But the alternatives are even worse: You might find yourself stuck in a miserable rut for years at a time. Or you could spend too many days languishing in regret, always wondering, What would my life have been like if I hadn’t cared so much about what people thought?
She leaves us with a question to ask ourselves—one she still asks herself every single time she’s faced with a choice.
The question:
Whenever I’m faced with a difficult decision, I ask myself: What would I do if I weren’t afraid of making a mistake, feeling rejected, looking foolish, or being alone?
I know for sure that when you remove the fear, the answer you’ve been searching for comes into focus. And as you walk into what you fear, you should know for sure that your deepest struggle can, if you’re willing and open, produce your greatest strength.
The OGT
To me, the idea is simple: even Oprah gets scared. Fear, Oprah says, comes into any decision that results in big change. But that you have to feel the fear and go anyway.
Sebastian Maniscalco was afraid, in the seven years he had to work at the Four Seasons before comedy could pay his rent. Kevin Hart was afraid when he was rejected by the founder of the Comic Strip in New York City. Michelle Obama was afraid to leave the cush lifestyle of a corprorate law job.
But the moved forward anyway.
I’ve now started asking myself that question when I get scared. What would I do if I “wasn’t afraid of making a mistake, feeling rejected, looking foolish, or being alone?”
What would you do?
Now, go think on that.
Past OGTs: