#18 SPANX Founder Sara Blakely on how to think

A few pieces of wisdom from the billionaire's Masterclass

Dec 01, 2023

I had just spent 16 years of my life being taught what to think, but nobody taught me how to think.

Sara Blakely was 16 years old when her father left home.

But, just before he left—just as he was taking something away from Sara— he also gave her something back, something arguably more valuable.

It was advice on how to think; how to train her mind; how to deal with the setbacks and challenges that life would inevitably throw at her. But, rather than give it to her directly, he gave it to her through an audiobook.

And that book changed her life.

I will never forget it. He came into my bedroom and he handed me a cassette tape series by Wayne Dyer, and the title was How To Be A No Limit Person.1 And he said to me, “Sara, I wish that I was your age when I discovered this instead of the age of 40.” And then he left.2

This happened at a very fragile time for Sara.

Just a few days before, Sara witnessed a close friend die in a car accident. Now, her parents were getting divorced, and her dad was leaving home.

This combination was obviously devastating.

But, not as obviously, it was helpful.

Had it been any other chapter of my life, I would have thrown it into the bottom of my closet. But because I was in the very dark place, I was willing to listen to it.

“We are all broken,” said the late musician, Leonard Cohen. “That's how the light gets in.” Because Sara was broken, she was more willing to listen. And as she did—over and over—some light got in.

I started listening to it all the time. I played it in my car on the way to school, on the way to and from parties (my friends refused to ride with me because of it 😂), and sometimes I would just get in my car and drive for hours just to listen to it.3

In her Masterclass, Blakely reveals what she learned from that book, and continues to learn after operating SPANX for the past 23 years.

And it’s the subject of today’s OGT.

Create A Mindset That Serves You

I put the tapes in and started to listen to this man talk to me about how you can choose to think, and I started to weep. The reason I started to cry is that I had just spent 16 years of my life being taught what to think, but nobody taught me how to think.

So, how do you think?

Blakely says Dyer taught her two lessons, but they’re based in the same point. That a “No Limit Person” is someone inner-directed. Someone who knows that other people or events should not—they cannot— determine what you think.

That’s your job.

I learned…not to care what other people think about you… But here’s the caveat…not caring what other people think about you doesn’t have to mean you don’t care about them.

The second thing is that when somebody’s reacting towards you, you don’t have to own it. It’s the example of hit the ball back. Someone hits a “tennis ball” and it’s really negative, you don’t have to own it. Hit the ball back.

Oprah, when she’s in a tough situation, asks herself this: “What would I do if I weren’t afraid of making a mistake, feeling rejected, looking foolish, or being alone?”

Blakely instructs us similarly:

It all comes from self talk. You have to be your own coach. You have to tell the negative voice to go away…The voice that’s telling you your not smart enough, your not good enough, you don’t know what you’re doing…that’s noise

F. Scott Fitzgerald told his daughter to focus on, not doubt, but your goals. “What am I really aiming at?”

Blakey says the same. But, she warns, goals get unclear, you do need to listen to those voices.

What are you creating? How are you delivering it? What are you going to do to serve the customer? That’s going to be your anchor. When that gets cloudy, that’s self doubt you want to listen to.

Similar to how Rafa Nadal describes tennis, Blakely says that business is mostly a challenge of the mind. So, she advises, actively guard it.

Your ability to become an entrepreneur will be completely related to your ability to control your own thoughts, and to have your mindset serve you, and propel you forward…instead of hold you back.

The OGT

“With everything that has happened to you, Wayne Dyer said, “you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”

“Tennis,” said Rafa Nadal echoing Blakely, “is, more than most sports, a sport of the mind.”

I think that’s what Blakely learned that day in her room, and has applied in the two decades since starting SPANX. That like Nadal and Dyer and pretty much every other successful person I’ve read about says— business, sport, life are all games of the mind.

The voice that’s telling you your not smart enough, your not good enough, you don’t know what you’re doing…that’s noise.

So tune it out.

One Good Think

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