Kevin Kelly's best bits of wisdom (#51)
The founding editor of WIRED Magazine shares advice with his kids that he wish hew knew when he was younger
What things do you wish you knew when you were younger?
On his 68th birthday, Kevin Kelly—the founding editor of WIRED Magazine, author, and the man Tim Ferriss has called “the most interesting man in the world”1 —asked himself that question with the idea of sharing his answers with his children. From that came his very first 68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice.
Kelly then started putting together another few hundred bits, and suddenly realized he had a book. The result was Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I’d Known Earlier.
In advice that reminds me of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s advice to his young Scottie while she was away at summer camp, Kelly’s bits range from the funny to the profound. I found it a real joy to read.
In today’s OGT, I share a few of my favorite Bits categorized as follows: (1) Bits I Practice, (2) Bits I Need To Practice More, (3) Bits I Want To Start Practicing, (4) Bits I’m Unsure About.
We’ll do three for each category, then I’ll share some of my own.
Let’s get it.
(1) Bits I Practice
Some of Kelly’s advice are things I’ve used or continuously use in practice. I can vouch for their effectiveness. Here they are:
The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day which is way more important than what you do occasionally.
Ever since my brother showed me the way with his golf commitment leading to scratch golfism, I’ve been a long-term consistency guy over a brute force quantity guy. “Drip by drip” as Seth Godin says.
Constantly search for overlapping areas of agreement and dwell there. Disagreements will appear to be edge cases.
This is exactly how you should think about figuring out what advice to listen to in fitness and diet. Live in the overlap, be weary of the edge.
Trust me: There is no “them.”
If everyone could get their heads around this, we wouldn’t have political polarization
(2) Bits I Mean To Practice But Often Forget
These are things I’ve read elsewhere and agree with them in principle, but have found them hard to do consistently in practice.
Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.
This is the first lesson of improv comedy, and probably should be the first lesson of human relationships
Your growth as a mature being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.
It took therapy and a lot books (including Thanks for The Feedback by Doug Stone and Shelia Heen2) to realize we avoided these growing up. Next step: go towards them.
Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks even if you believe it is not deserved.
(3) Bits I Found Profound or New
Explore or optimize? Do you optimize what you know will sell or explore with something new? Do you order a restaurant dish you are sure is great (optimize) or do you try something new? Do you keep dating new folks (explore) or try to commit to someone you met? The ideal balance for exploring new things vs. optimizing those already found is ⅓. Spend ⅓ of your time on exploring and ⅔ on optimizing and deepening. As you mature it is harder to devote time to exploring because it seems unproductive but aim for ⅓.
This may apply to more than just business: personal projects, perhaps eating out
On the dashboard of every gasoline car is a symbol of gas pump with a little arrow. The arrow points to the side of the car that accesses your gas tank. Remember this when you borrow or rent a car.
This is fascinating. Never knew about it. Have pulled into a gas station on the wrong side plenty. Looked at my car: it’s true.
When someone tells you something is wrong, they’re usually right. When they tell you how to fix it, they’re usually wrong.
(4) Bits I’m Unsure about
These I have questions about. I don’t want to say I disagree, but I would qualify them.
What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days.
This seems like an exaggeration. Most of my days are pretty good. What matters is what you do most days. I think it might be more accurate if he said: on your bad days, don’t go completely off the rails. Also—bounce back from them. So maybe it’s what you do after your bad days that counts?
Looking ahead, focus on direction rather than destinations. Maintain the right direction and you’ll arrive at where you want to go.
This seems like a false dichotomy. Both targets and trajectory help. If you’re on the way to China, but you are crawling and never change that strategy, you’re not going to get there. More accurate might be: focus on both, but don’t fall into the trap of overrating destination and feeling bad about it in comparison to others.
The OGT: four of my own
I loved listening to this book and reading it.
It’s the type of thing that just makes ideas jump around in your head. It probably makes a lovely bathroom book.
It even inspired my to start a list of my own. Below are four of them:
Start every workout with the following two rules:
If you’re motivated, get right to the hard resistance exercise
If you’re feeling resistance, start by motivating yourself. A ten minute jog or fast walk + inspirational music, pod, or audiobook in your earphones will do wonders.
To heal an injury, the worst thing is to do what really hurts. But the second worst thing is avoid movement completely. The best thing is consistent movement just before the point of pain, but in the hazy space of discomfort. Discomfort is not only ok—it’s the quickest path to recovery.
Making your bed isn’t so you feel accomplished. It’s to get the feeling of (1) a clean space and (2) getting into a freshly made bed at night. The happiness caused by the second two greatly outweighs the cost of three minutes to do it.
The time you save now by skipping sleep or a exercise will usually lead to much more time wasted later with errant work, depressive thoughts, and lethargy.
What are some of yours?
If you go back to Ferriss’ early days, there are a lot of great interviews like this one with Kelly.
They also have Difficult Conversations which was just as pivotal